Sometimes, I’m just so busy, I don’t spend time looking back.
Which means I lose out on the chance to truly appreciate the journey.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my journey with Phydeaux this week, though.
It was just five or six years ago (maybe longer?) that I started playing with dyeing yarn in my kitchen in the Bay Area, while working at Stanford.
I was so young!
I started out dyeing yarn with the idea of dyeing my OWN yarn in order to sell my hand knits nation-wide.
And immediately found myself pivoting, focusing on selling yarn and knitting patterns of my own design, and not my hand knits.
Which was okay – I couldn’t really take the production level knitting any longer, with a pinched nerve in my shoulder and some carpal tunnel issues.
Little did I know that my side hustle, my creative gig, would become my fulltime gig when I moved to Northern California in Summer 2012, to take care of my mom and help my dad.
And then live with my dad after mom passed.
Those early days of fulltime Phydeaux were … tough.
Mom was in hospice, then passed away so quickly – a blessing, for sure, but wow, we just weren’t prepared to say goodbye so quickly.
And I had JUST moved to a new house in Chico. I wasn’t even unpacked when our funeral guests arrived.
I think I was so busy taking care of dad and family, and also taking care of Phydeaux, that allowing myself my grief process was difficult. Grief seemed like a luxury, albeit necessary.
Mom would have totally understood this, mind you. I get my analytical nature and mind from her. We usually analyzed and shared our deepest, darkest hurts and pains and joys and sorrows with each other. But we were no longer able to do that, and that’s been a challenge for me.
If you’d told me when I first started this adventure that I would exhibit at the TNNA tradeshow … I probably wouldn’t have believed you.
That was a real gamechanger for Phydeaux, allowing me to work with yarn shops across the country. At one point last year, Phydeaux was in 50-60 yarn shops, I think.
But, last year was a tough year for Phydeaux, and I had to pull back from wholesale while we sorted out a lot of issues.
So, while I’ve really missed exhibiting at TNNA, not doing so was the right decision, and Phydeaux is in a MUCH better place right now, particularly as we prepare to launch our first exclusively spun yarn!
I’ve spent a lot of time this last year experimenting with new yarns, particularly American wools (like above).
I haven’t found one that I’m head over heels in love with yet, but I do have some that I’m really really in like with.
But I’ve also been working with a mill to develop a yarn FOR Phydeaux.
OUR own yarn: mine, and also yours.
And … it’s on its way to my driveway now!
Tomorrow, I get to announce the name of this brand new, amazing merino/cashmere/nylon fingering weight yarn.
I’ve run a contest this week for name suggestions, and I’m going to pick the winner(s) tomorrow, along with my dad.
We’re both beyond excited to choose the name (and announce winners)!
But even more excited to see all 3,000 or so skeins of this yarn that we’ve been developing, obsessing over, planning for since last year.
So, stay tuned – there are SO much good new fibery thing on the way, starting with this yarn that I’m so in love with.
And hope that you will love as much – or even more!
p.s., if you’d told me when I first started that I’d one day invest in several thousand skeins of Phydeaux-exclusive yarn, I would have laughed, I’m sure.