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in memoriam

joanne lavell my mother

My mom, Joanne Lavell, went home to be with the Lord this last Monday. She fought a valant war against her cancer, but in the end, there were no more effective weapons to continue the battle. She entered home hospice just four or five weeks ago.

I was a lucky, lucky girl to be born to my two parents. And to have known my mom, my dearest and longest friend. We laughed and cried together, shared books and movies and music and clothes. She knew what I was feeling before I did, and I knew what she was thinking from across the miles. I had the best mom possible for nearly 50 years, and I’m so very grateful.

We’re so glad that the pain and horror of her cancer is no more. And we’re so very glad that Mom is no longer suffering. And we’re so immensely heartbroken that we don’t really yet know how to be sad.  But that will come soon enough.

To my mom, lover of kitties, chocolate, cheese, old time gospel music, lace shawls, purses, pot pies, red velvet cake, project runway, bath and body works, word search puzzles, reading, shopping, her family … I miss and love you more than words can express.

L. Joanne Lavell – 1940-2013

{ 22 comments… add one }
  • heather jane March 16, 2013, 10:39 PM

    I am so sorry you lost your Mom, Brenda. It’s tragic and unfair. Wishing you peace as you come to terms with the process of grieving. Lots of love,

  • Janet March 17, 2013, 7:11 AM

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family peace and comfort in the days ahead.

  • Vicki Potter March 17, 2013, 8:37 AM

    Brenda — I’m so sorry to hear this sad news. Her suffering is over and and that is a blessing. Learning to live with this loss may be the hardest thing you will ever do. Lean on those you love for help. All the best to you and your family, Vicki

  • Kepanie March 17, 2013, 12:14 PM

    I am very sorry for your loss, Brenda. It is beautiful that you were so close to her and have been there for her during her time of illness. It is always hard for us who are left behind. The loss is always felt. My condolences to you and your ohana. Hugs, darlin.

  • Lynn/UnaOdd March 17, 2013, 5:24 PM

    Brenda, I see that she was a very lovely lady and I can tell by how special you are that she must have been a wonderful Mother indeed. I am so sorry for your loss. May the memories you have give you much comfort. xo

  • sam March 17, 2013, 10:16 PM

    Thinking of you at this difficult time. May your find comfort and peace in your memories.

  • Terry/knittinnow March 18, 2013, 3:37 PM

    Hugs and condolences …. I admire you for being close and near for your mom – you’ll be given back in life for that!

  • Maureen March 18, 2013, 5:35 PM

    So sorry to read that you lost your Mom. I’m sure she was proud of you and all you do. She is pain free and I hope that is where you draw your strength from when you think of her.
    Prayers to you and your family.

  • barbara March 18, 2013, 6:47 PM

    brenda i am so sorry for your loss. i know how hard it is to lose your mom. stay strong and cry if you want to. my prayers to you and yours

  • Cat March 18, 2013, 7:20 PM

    what a touching tribute to your beautiful mother Brenda- thinking of you my friend ….. xo

  • Helene March 20, 2013, 6:57 AM

    I’m so very sorry about your mom. It is clear from your posts that you had a very special relationship. Remember that as you think of your mom, you are very fortunate to have had that.

  • rudee March 21, 2013, 10:04 AM

    My condolences.

  • Janet March 21, 2013, 10:59 AM

    I am so sorry to hear this, Brenda. I recently lost my father, so I know the breathtaking sorrow losing a parent brings. I’m sure your mother, like my father, has found the path to eternal grace. Peace to you and your family ~Janet

  • Pam Gardner March 21, 2013, 8:28 PM

    I am so very sorry about your mom. I know the pain as my mom passed away last July and she was my best friend. I spend quite a lot of time with my dad so now living closer at least you will be near him. Good Bless you

  • Maria March 23, 2013, 8:03 PM

    So very sorry for your loss. I hope that she went peacefully and that you will also, find your own peace. She sounds like a lovely lady.

  • Bethe March 30, 2013, 5:30 AM

    Dearest Brenda,
    I’m so very sad to learn of your Mom’s passing. She is the Mom I’m trying to be, thank you for sharing her with us. Peace and blessings to you.

  • Sharon April 1, 2013, 4:26 PM

    Dearest Brenda,
    The pain of saying good-bye to a parent is beyond words. My heart just broke for you when I read about your mom’s passing. Please accept my condolences for you and your family. Blessings to you all.

  • Cynthia April 4, 2013, 4:26 AM

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Hospice is a wonderful thing. My dad chose home-hospice, and only made it 3 days. He was an optimist up until then, had a long bucket list, but when you gotta go, you gotta go. I’m so glad you found your happy place…one that will constantly remind you of life’s beauty. And while it can never make up for your loss, remember that every moment is precious and filled with life!

  • Amy April 5, 2013, 4:16 AM

    I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to cancer about a year and a half ago. I hope your pain will ease.

  • Pat April 7, 2013, 6:25 AM

    What a lovely tribute to such a wonderful woman. May your memories come to comfort you. “When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.”

  • Lisa April 30, 2013, 1:24 PM

    I have such admiration for your courage to write these beautiful words. I lost my wonderful, amazing creative Mum to cancer 9 years ago and it was a long time before I could talk about it, it still hurts but eventually I appreciated how much she had given me.
    You clearly have a gift, thank you for finding a way of sharing it with us through you work.

  • Anna April 30, 2013, 5:58 PM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you on the loss of your mom. It’s a tough thing to lose mom. I lost mine 28 years ago but it still seems like yesterday. Remember the good times and she’ll always be with you.

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