Life is a blur

by brenda

Funny when the misfired photos turn out so pretty :)

It was just a few blinks ago when I was excited about my new life in a small town, largely because I minutes away from my parents.

Can you believe it’s really been more than six months?

In that time, my mom’s cancer has continued to prevail.  My parents moved to Chico to be closer to medical services.  Mom is my hero:  she has fought like a champ.  But her cancer is very aggressive, so much so that she stopped cancer treatments and started hospice last week.

And I’m moving this week to Chico, so that I’ll be minutes away from my parents again.

It wasn’t that long ago, maybe a few more blinks, that my parents took care of me, making sure I was safe, warm, dry, fed.  The taught me to walk and talk.  I was their first kid and their only daughter.

mom and me apr 1964As we grow up, we eventually change places with our parents.  It’s my turn to help dad take care of my mom.  And take care of dad also.  They held my hands as I toddled about, learning to walk.  And now mom carefully and oh so slowly takes exploratory steps from bedroom to living room or kitchen, my arm gently around her shoulders for support.

So I take my own exploratory steps this week, moving to a new future.  I’m moving into a home with a large space for my yarn dyeing and knitting design, making Phydeaux’s future so bright.  But so hard to imagine any future without mom.

Nevertheless, we all have to face futures without our parents:  it’s inescapable.  I hope that I’m able to do so with the grace and courage that I so admire in my mother, my hero, mentor, coach, counselor, role model and best friend.

I wish peace and love for my mother this week.  May your week be filled with the same.

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